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Posts Tagged ‘emotional abuse’


If there was anything more

I could have done for you

to heal the pain

that struck

your heart

the ache

your mind

the nightmares

your spirit

the tears

mingled with prayers

the betrayal of one

the youngest

that stole away

the beat of your heart

your hopes and dreams

the breath of your life

After walking

that long

dry

hard

path

with you

holding your hand

singing as you prayed

I promise to you

not to allow

the same

to happen

to me

Born from my womb

some stay

some stray

I choose to live

and love

to find the beauty

in every breath

She didn’t die

She stopped living

Then she was dead

Kimberley Formosa © 2011

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Dedicated to Lacey.

A chocolate morsel of a moral.

A sign of character

Inner Strength

Fortitude

Heart

Spirit

 

Is so often viewed during times of success

Climbing the Ladder

Acceptance

The Winner Takes All

Victory

Scholarship

Promotion

Gold Medal

 

Yet it is in my

Trials of enduring the unknown, fear, pain

Attempts to better myself and the lives I encounter

Choice to bring beauty, hope, peace into my world

Devotion to remain true to my God and those I love

Conscious decision that ultimately

reflects my attitude toward either

promoting the positive or the adverse

in any given moment

 

My character should not be measured by my success

but by the path I walk.

 

Which brings me now to the title of this poem,

that obviously took me to a place I knew not of

when I first contemplated the idea of

 

Chocolate Mousse

 

I know of a young girl

of who shall I say

has had a burden to bear

for the last eight months

of her teenage life.

She has been

Accused of portraying her injury by both adults and her peers.

These accusations have been made publicly.

          Privately whispered in her ear.

                   Rumored from one to another.

In front of her.                                      Behind her back.

All of these accusations were committed and endured

repeatedly for quite a long time.

To be followed by a few apologies. Not many, not all, only a few.

Finally, after all of the accusations quiet, or so we may assume since we have heard of none recently, her physical symptoms escalate. She is faced with the reality and possibility of two debilitating and fearful diseases. What does this young girl do at the end of the day?

She does something beautiful.

She makes Chocolate Mousse.

Not the instant kind. Oh no.

The egg yolk

Whipping heavy cream

Melting lovely chocolate

Blending it all together

Until a heavenly loveliness

Is rendered by her

Caring and thoughtful ways.

And then she shares.

At the end of her day

She focuses on hope

Living her life to prove it.

Where do you find yourself when most everyone you respect turns their back on you? She had to advocate for herself in many situations where adults were in complete defiance, not only to their chosen profession, but to an ailing child. Those that had the power to help her rallied together and claimed they had “no obligation” to help her. They had “no obligation” to care for her needs unless it was included on a signed legal agreement. Really, I am telling you the truth. They had “no obligation.” Bear with me here as I write it one more time to coincide with how many times they communicated it verbally and written about an injured child. “We have no obligation…”

From out of pain, beauty.

 

Are you strong enough to remain beautiful when your health, your livelihood and even your life are in jeopardy of never being who you were before tragedy strikes? Can you even endure the thought that your tomorrow may never be? Can you lay your head down to slumber knowing that you chose not to be obligated to another human being when it was indeed in your power to initiate change?

Will you make Chocolate Mousse

Bake cookies or bread

Smile in the mirror

Pick a flower

Call an old friend

Be kind to yourself

Or another

Or maybe a stranger

Would you rather be greeted by dreams of peace

because you have thus spent your day?

Giving has such a remarkable way of lingering

Within the very heart that chose to give.

Kimberley Formosa © 2011

http://markconner.typepad.com/ A Picture of HOPE January 23, 2011

http://www.biapa.org/site/c.iuLZJbMMKrH/b.1841279/apps/s/content.asp?ct=4538465

http://www.biapa.org/

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Born from the undesirable excess of a long-endured abusive relationship.

It is quite disturbing

when the spirit within me

reveals to me

the spirit within you

As a demon

Yes, you, a demon

appeared to me

in a nightmare

Where you were

completely controlled

Isn’t that ironic?

with constant nervous

movements

and unseen before

contortions

of every one

of your limbs.

You were fully clothed

unlike the man Jesus healed.

You know, where the

Legion of demons

entered the pigs? Mark 5

You had three dumb powerhouses

To aid you in your plans.

whatever those plans may have been

Although,

you never

accomplished anything

other than your

strange gestures and

psychotic writhing.

I found it all quite sickening

You never moved

from your chair

along the wall.

You were waiting for court to proceed

waiting for the judge to proclaim to you

‘Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

The activities your children

participate in

are invalid!’

Really?

I should send your argument to SNL.

‘Yes. Music lessons are valid,

but the instrument is not.’

Really?

It was frightful to see you

Possessed

Oppressed

Tormented

It was emotionally draining to have to

deal with you in this manner.

But you were never able to touch me

or any of my loved ones.

You were thoroughly consumed

in nonsensical demonic activity.

No, I did not wipe the drool off of your face.

It just puddled to the floor.

I had this nightmare.

I remain on my knees

in love with

my Father God.

Maon…           my Dwelling Place

Machseh…     my Refuge

Magen…         my Shield

Metsuda…     my Fortress

Migdal-Oz…  my Strong Tower

Now I have penned this

dreadful bout of anguish

while continuing to deal

with the years of fear

You heaved upon me.

I am not perfect but

I am beautiful and

I am free.

I no longer live your nightmare.

You are not perfect

You are ugly

You are living this nightmare.

Somehow,

I still pray for you.

But honestly,

I don’t think it is me.

It must be someone

much more nobler than I,

one whom resides within.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you from the fowlers snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the Lord, who is my refuge—then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” Psalm 91:1-16 TCR NIV Bible

http://helpguide.org/

http://www.ncadv.org/

Kimberley Formosa © 2010

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Dedicated to the victims and survivors of physical, mental, and emotional abuse.

the spirit

being embraced

within this human being

the soul

being housed

within this heart and mind

cannot be imprisoned

by your immoral actions

your disrespectful

condescending words

you have

bruised my flesh

choked me

with your insolence

forced me to swallow

your vile poisons

fear

strength

Sorrowfully

harm was imposed upon

all of the inhabitants

of our home

young as they were

some are still

prying the fingers of

fear and disrespect

which had grasped such a hold

upon their tender hearts

you, thus far,

have lived a life

protected by impunity

Justice has now claimed her due.

I am who I am.

Never will there ever be a moment

in my life that you can lay claim to.

With grace

mercy

hope and love

I have unloaded the burdens

you would have me carry.

I have broken the chains of fear.

I am, once again, beautiful me.

My prayers lie in the hope

that my heart

my words

my actions,

would never turn to such

wretchedness

as I have experienced.

I pray that my

Most Holy Reverend Father God

would never find me

guilty of contempt.

Kimberley Formosa © 2010

http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp.php

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