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Posts Tagged ‘Grandma’


Upon your last exhalation I hovered

over your empty beautiful vessel

while the warmth of your spirit cloaked me as a

heavy woolen blanket. Our last

communication of love will remain in

existence within the very fibers

that constitute this being of whom you have

invested so many of your

days here upon this dusty soil. Our last

earthly consumption, to drink of your love,

your grace, your prayers. A spirit which has reached the

heavens on high yet continues

to linger within my soul. I aspire, hope

to walk that path destined eternally

Kimberley Formosa © 2012

Pellucid Peace by Dorothy Bruce

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1

A young child

a grandson

two years old

sitting

in the front seat

behind the wheel

of a convertible

with the roof

d

o

w

n

the sun out

skies of blue

with Grandma

sitting

at his side

bounteous smiles

heaped

with love

Grandpa

at his other side

standing outside

of course

cause grandbaby

has it all

under control

2

pale with

reddened eyes

as though she slept

upon clenched fists

long unkempt hair

dirty clothes

her body crying

for more heroin

crying

I could feel her

writhing pain

in the middle of town

the sun out

skies of blue

she bent down

picking up a

ha

lf

smoked cigarette

we each caught

a glimpse of the other

she looked down

again

maybe in shame

I looked up

again

maybe with hope

and a prayer

for her life

3

There we were

crossing the

Hot Metal Bridge

all along

the entire span

were strung

red

white

lace

beige

teal

striped

purple

polka-dotted

black

pink

Photo by Ed Rieker for Aerie by American Eagle

floral

bras

bras in every color

every texture

every cup size

all strung there

high above

the sun out

skies of blue

hope gleaming down

wishing

breast cancer

far, far, away

Kimberley Formosa © 2011

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If there was anything more

I could have done for you

to heal the pain

that struck

your heart

the ache

your mind

the nightmares

your spirit

the tears

mingled with prayers

the betrayal of one

the youngest

that stole away

the beat of your heart

your hopes and dreams

the breath of your life

After walking

that long

dry

hard

path

with you

holding your hand

singing as you prayed

I promise to you

not to allow

the same

to happen

to me

Born from my womb

some stay

some stray

I choose to live

and love

to find the beauty

in every breath

She didn’t die

She stopped living

Then she was dead

Kimberley Formosa © 2011

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The only joy

obtained

in wiping away your

last

tear shed

is in the

promise

that you will

never

shed another.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. For you, O lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living. Psalm 116:7-9 Thompson Chain-Reference Bible NIV

I love you forever Gram. ~Kimberley Formosa © 2010

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In celebration of Mother’s Day this Sunday, May 9, 2010, I would like to take a moment to reflect on a few of the “Mom’s” that have graciously brought me to the place I am today.

Just to note, I am saving my next post to devote to my Mom. She deserves a post of her very own. The women that follow in the next few paragraphs have all given their very best to me, and for that, I am forever grateful for their uncompromising love, forgiveness, patience, and wisdom. Each of them has made my life so beautiful.

To my Step mom Jo, I must thank you so very much for your patience while teaching me the basics of cooking. Oh! The memories, stories, disasters, and good laughs in cleaning up the messes…mine and yours! I, to this day, still don’t like to clean the stove top! You have inspired me with your creativity and perseverance. You are an awesome woman and I am so grateful you are a part of my life and gave me two more brothers to love. I must say though, that my favorite times that I always cherish were the quiet times we had together. We would hardly even speak while we sat in the garage at Forest Lake, Illinois, sipping on hot tea and eating toast with butter and jam while watching the rain fall. I sometimes still slip away to those moments when I need to take a moment to gather myself together for the next life event. Thank you.

The next mom I would like to honor is the grandmother to my first two sons, Jeannie B. You gave me the gift of hugging and I will always cherish that. What a beautiful gift to give someone. I am sure there are many, many others in this world that have been changed by you simply placing your arms around them and letting them know how important and special they are. You taught me to care in a way that I hadn’t grasped before you were a part of my life. To this day, there is rarely a moment when someone comes to my home or leaves without a hug. I would also like to thank you for your patience in teaching me the ways of running a home. You were always so sweet and kind in giving me instructions for the day and talking me through the dinner recipe I was preparing. Thank you for your love and patience when dinner wasn’t looking the way it was supposed to. But you would come home and make everything okay. Thank you.

I must spend a moment on my grandmothers. I was so blessed in my life to have the two most beautiful and best grandmothers ever. I had the honor to spend a lot of time with both of my grandmothers while growing up, but when I became a mom, there was hardly a day that I didn’t talk to them on the telephone or visit with them.

Lillian Irene was the kindest woman I have ever known. I never heard her say an unkind word about anyone. Never. I wish I could say that about myself, but I am not that saintly, yet…But honestly, I was with her until she passed on to heaven and she never said an unkind word. She had a simple and pure relationship with God that never wavered. Her last years were very trying for her in regards to her health and what she regretted most was not being able to see. She lost her eyesight from the brutality of diabetes. A few days before she died, I was holding her hand and asked her if there was anything she needed to forgive in others. There was only one person she needed to forgive, that she hadn’t dealt with the hurt they caused in her life. We talked about it and prayed. She died very peacefully a few days later. Thank you for showing me what true beauty is.

Phyllis (Maria Felicia) added so much richness to my life in countless ways. She took the time to share the heritage of our family with me. She also talked me through many a dinner recipe and gave me all of her recipes when it was my turn to make holiday dinners. She was true and faithful to me during the times when not many cared to be around me. My grandmother was always there. Always. We had many discussions about God, and Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. She loved Him tremendously. She loved people. Especially young people. She was always so patient with them while offering guidance to their situations. They all called her mom during the days she worked at the local supermarket. She helped me to see the hurt and pain that others were enduring and she showed me how to love them. I was also blessed to be at her side during her last moments on this earth. Thank you, Gram, for being my very best friend in life. I still miss you.

The next lovely woman I would like to honor is my dearest friend and mom, Sherry. We were neighbors and our smiles toward each other ignited our friendship and relationship to the point where she, through her love and guidance, escorted me through the most difficult time in my life. She reminded me of who I was to her, my children, and God. She prayed with me and for me until I could see what she saw in me and for me. She impacted my life with true love. Thank you for your faithfulness to me and our God. Thank you for caring.

The last woman I would like to give tribute to is Dorothy Marie. I actually never met her but I love her son. She taught him to be the perfect gentleman and my life is confoundedly blessed (and spoiled) by his thoughtfulness, kindness, and goodness. He has given, with unwavering faithfulness, to me and my children in countless ways of support and direction. He is teaching our sons to be men of honor and he is giving our daughters the gift of knowing what to look for in a man you want to spend the rest of your life loving. Dot, you are going to be the first angel I want to hug when I go to heaven.

I hope that you have beautiful memories and thoughts about the women that have impacted your life. I do understand there are some that haven’t realized what a loving mom could give. My thoughts and prayers are with you…that you would find yourself in the loving arms of someone who believes in you…that you would be inspired…that you would be loved, just because…that you can enjoy the beauty in another…that you might have a love for the youth, and remember what it was to be young again…that you might live your life beautifully…and that you would have peace in your heart.

Kimberley Formosa © 2010

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Dedicated to Lillian Irene Musser Edwards

Gnarled fingers grasping a thick white ceramic mug

Filled with black liquid of which the aroma

Calls you

Begs you to take some time and

Sit.

She had been outside in the morning sun

Capturing the dew on her shoes

Bringing in the aroma of summers’ tomatoes

The fresh scent of living verdure mixed with a

Little brown soil.

I have her all to myself.

We sit and talk

She lets me sip from her mug

My eyes close tight

My face follows suit

Accordingly…

While my tongue wants to expel the bitterness

I swallow and come up quickly

For fresh air

“Gram, how do you drink that?”

No sugar, no cream

She smiled and said

“I just do.”

“Well, I could never do that!”

The day came when morning and coffee

Beckoned me to sit and take time

At the table

With my mom and my first-born child

In the high chair

The mug would warm my hands

As well as the conversation

But my coffee wasn’t black

Cream and two sugars

Thank you

Yum.

My gram went to heaven

I was carrying my fourth child

Her last meal was fed to her

By me

With a few spoonfuls of black coffee

I held her hand and

Kissed her cheek.

I have so many beautiful memories.

Thoughts of her holding that mug

Allow me to feel close to her.

Over the years

Not realizing

I weaned the sugar yet

Poured the cream in

Until it stirred itself.

Again

Unknowingly…

The cream began to

Diminish

I had to stir.

One day, I found myself

Counting the drops

One-two-three

Okay, I can do this.

My next cup of coffee was

Black

Naked

Adorned with only the virtues bestowed

And I loved it!

For years now

I have been drinking coffee

Black

One drawback…

I must wait longer

To sip and enjoy and linger.

It is so worth the wait.

It has been 18 years since my grandmother passed away. Six children. One grandchild. Seven years of drinking coffee black. And it took writing my thoughts down to realize how much I enjoyed watching my grandmother drink her coffee. And how special I felt when she took some time to be with me.

I hope that someday I can offer beautiful memories, and coffee, to my grandchildren.

What traditions or even daily habits do you have that were initiated by someone you hold dear? Maybe you can tell them how they made something so simple, beautiful, for you.

Kimberley Formosa © 2010

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Dedicated to Maria Felicia Porco Formosa

You touched my heart

Showing me love.

You opened my eyes

Revealing much beauty.

You kissed my cheek

Displaying sweet tenderness.

The winds of love have blown

A seed of memory

Now buried deep within my soul.

Your bloom lives on forever.

A part of who you were

Has made me who I am.

Now…

Everywhere I go.

Everything I see and

Every word I speak,

Begins with a precious thought of you.

Thank you for all you have given.

Thank you for the beautiful memories.

Today I learned from a forever friend, that a family member had passed on. Please accept my sympathy, love, and prayers.

Kimberley Formosa © 2010

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